In Ephes. 5:31-32, the Apostle Paul

“’Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”

We must realize that marriage gives us a portrait of Christ and his bride, the Church. Paul calls it a “mystery,” but not the type that you try to keep a secret for as long as you can, but one that you reveal at just the right time.

Again, you see why God takes this seriously. So what do we see as far as this portrait that a marriage should look like? Well, as we go through these, I pray you will not only reflect on your own personal marriage, but also look to Christ who is the perfect Husband to his bride and rejoice and praise Him for who He is and all He has accomplished.

Going back to Ephesians 5:23, we see that Christ is the head of the church. He is the spiritual authority of his people and we as his bride submit to him. He is perfectly capable of leading his church. As Christ is the head of his house, so Christ must be the head of our house — with each member submitting to him in all things.

Next, Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25). This really caught me. Sometimes, the church does not seem all that lovable. All too often, we find ourselves very sporadic in our devotion to God, in our attendance, in actively engaging in our times of worship, or rarely spending time with him. But for whatever reason that I will never fully understand, he loves us. Not only does he love us but He gave himself for us. This was not just a feeling of love, but a sacrificial love that put self aside for his beloved. This is a connection we see all through Scripture: Christ loves, Christ gives (see John 3:16 among others).

Christ also nurtures the church. Verse 26 says that he wishes to sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the Word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without sport or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.” Christ takes it upon himself to love his bride whom he purchased with his own blood. Verse 29 talks of how he “nourishes and cherishes” the church.

Christ leads, loves, sacrifices, and nurtures his church. In return, the church submits to this— willingly! Dear Christian, does this describe your marriage? Does it describe mine? Do we realize that our marriages, good or bad, are a portrait of Christ and his church? May God continue to open this truth up in our hearts so that our marriages would line up with His will, not with the shifting sands of the culture.

Larry Cunningham in an article in Reader’s Digest a number of years ago told about the time he was visiting friends. While there, they received a telephone call from their recently married daughter. After several tense minutes on the phone, the mother told the father to pick up the extension. The newlyweds had had their first big fight. In a few moments, the father rejoined us and tersely explained, “Said she wanted to come home.” “What did you tell her?” I asked. “Told her she was home.”

Matthew 19:5-6 quotes Jesus as saying, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:5-6). Here, Jesus quotes from Genesis 2, establishing once again that marriage is not a new institution nor simply a cultural one, but a spiritual one. It’s not just about a ‘piece of paper,’ but it’s an acknowledgment that the God of heaven has joined you together.

Each culture has struggled with the role of marriage, and they did as well in Jesus’ day. In Matthew 5:31, “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ In fact, the Pharisees bring this up in Matthew 19 when, in expressing disagreement with what Jesus said, noted, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” (Matthew 19:7). So, since this is mentioned in Matthew 5 and Matthew 19, permit me if you will to help understand.

Turn with me to Deut. 24:1-4

“When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, and if she goes and becomes another man’s wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance. (Deuteronomy 24:1-4)

Granted, this is a heavy passage. Many have interpreted this to be a way to get out of a marriage, but this is not the case. This is dealing with the matter of adultery and how divorcing someone improperly will lead to adultery. The whole passage hinges on the understanding of a phrase found in verse 1: “he has found some indecency in her.” What is this indecency? The indecency was not adultery, because adultery was punishable by death. But it may have been some indecent act that led up to adultery that brought disgrace and betrayal upon the union. In this passage, we see not an excuse for divorce but the potential harm and evil that comes from it. It serves as a warning that divorce can bring about adultery if a marriage ever takes place.

You may say, “Well, why did God allow this, if he’s so against it?” Jesus enlightens, “Because of your hardness of heart, but it was not so from the beginning.” God gave that provision to protect women from the death penalty and to warn men not to give up on their marriages too quickly.

Now, obviously, while we do not do the death penalty for adultery in 2008, do we see any relevance? Absolutely. God put all these issues and warnings in place so we would take his institution of marriage seriously. It is not something to trivialize or trifle with. We are to leave our father and mother and to join with our spouses so the two will become one flesh! Jesus says in Matthew 5:32, “But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” Why sexual immorality? Because the trust and the bond has been shattered. Does God want us to reconcile, if possible? Absolutely. Is it difficult if not next to impossible under those circumstances? Believe it!

This coming Friday, July 4th, represents the 232nd anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence. We live in a country founded on the notion of what Thomas Jefferson wrote in the Declaration of Independence, that our Creator endowed us with the inalienable rights of “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” What is not well known is that this can only work if people were disciplined with a significant moral code. As a result in our day, people are looking to whatever, saying they have the liberty to pursue whatever lifestyle makes them happy.

Of late, that “pursuit of happiness” has been to try and redefine the definition of marriage. In essence, they say that marriage is just a social construct that society has enforced on people for generations. David Graham Cooper, a British physician, believed in the 1960s that we should just do away with the family because it was how British and western culture spread their empire. In the 70s, Kate Millet believed the family must go due to how it enslaved women. In the 90s, homosexual activists seek to redefine marriage because the “traditional” view is too narrow.

Look with me at Matthew 19:3-4

And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female?

The Pharisees were trying to test Jesus’ knowledge of the Bible — for the Bible does address this issue. So Jesus puts this line of argument right back on them: “Have you not read …?” You see, the Scriptures show that God had marriage in mind “from the beginning.” This echoes Genesis 1:1, doesn’t it? God had this in mind even before the world began and would serve as a core fabric in our society. Marriage is not a social construct, it is a spiritual contract exclusively between “male and female.” So when you hear about people who are trying to redefine marriage, I want to tell you that this institution is not theirs to redefine. It’s God’s.

Also notice this. One of the arguments from homosexual activists is that Jesus never addresses homosexuality. He is silent on the matter, they say. What they look for is Jesus to come out and say, “Children, homosexuality is a sin.” Yet, in this passage he does address it: he “made them male and female.” He’s talking about marriage, then addresses that marriage is made of male and female. Do we really need to say anything more? Jesus said plenty.

But on a more basic level, does this not truly open our eyes to the seriousness of marriage? It is the first institution that God created. It should not be entered into lightly (and given the nature of the vows expressed at weddings, it is understood that this is a solemn union), but it should never be exited lightly as well. But given how so many in our culture have experienced this devastating trend of leaving. Many enter into it lightly, and leave lightly as well. May we see the seriousness with which Jesus approaches marriage in his ordained way.

(This sermon was preached on Sunday, June 29, 2008, at the Boone’s Creek Baptist Church, Lexington, KY.)

This morning, we find ourselves dealing with a very difficult topic. Right up front, I want to tell you this: I have committed to what’s called expository preaching. What that means is, a commitment to preaching through particular books or portions of the Bible as they are arranged by the Holy Spirit. Why do I do this? For one, I want to follow Paul’s dual commands to “preach the Word” and to preach the whole counsel of God. As a result of this, I will guard against the tendency of my own flesh to skip over passages that may been seen as overly controversial. This has happened a number of times, and God has always blessed and honored our times together because we have preached and received his Word, no matter how difficult.

This morning, as God’s providence would demand, we will be talking about “Why Does God Care About Marriage?” So if you would, turn with me to Matthew 5:31-32:

“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery (Matthew 5:31-32, ESV).

Jesus here deals with this area with a great deal of seriousness. And by and large, the church of Jesus Christ has dealt with this seriously as well. But there are ways to deal with something seriously. How so?

In this area, our breed of churches tends to deal with the doctrine of marriage and divorce seriously. We hold the authority of God’s Word seriously and with great gravity. But for all too many, they would say they love God but the love of neighbor is decidedly missing. As a result, someone who holds to God’s commands seriously metes out judgment on those who do not. There is a risk of coming at this with such moral superiority in this area that no one looks deeper.

There’s another way to look at it seriously. You can look at this in a way that balances the clear commands of Christ with loving and showing compassion on those who are victims of divorce. We must not only take God’s Word with determined seriousness, but also take those whom he created seriously. Paul’s exhortation to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) cannot be ignored or dismissed.

Some of you sitting in this place have gone through the horrors and the pain of divorce. On the pain scale, divorce actually is more painful than any other event or experience — even more so that the death of a loved one. Some of you may have initiated the divorce because of marital unfaithfulness or even abuse on the part of your spouse. Our hearts break for you, for there is nothing worse than losing the trust of one you love. Some of you may have initiated this because you felt you didn’t love your spouse anymore. My prayer is that you will see that love is not relegated to a feeling but to a commitment, a steadfast love in much the same way that Christ steadfastly loves his church. Some of you here may be the victim of a divorce — you tried and tried and did everything you could, but they refused to. Our hearts go out to you and we pray you will come to Christ for healing and cling to him as your all in all, as one who will never leave you nor forsake you.

The point of this sermon is not, “Four Ways to Have a Happy Marriage,” but is this: how can Christ be Lord of my life even when all around me may try to take control of my heart and mind? And given this, why does God care about our marriages? What are they about? Are they just civil contracts dictated by the state, or is there a connection with the soul as well?

(Tomorrow: God Gave Marriage From the Beginning)

Figure. In other words, count the cost. If Satan is tempting you with indulging in the sexual realm in thought or in action, count the cost. Lig Duncan, a pastor in Mississippi, told of a pastor friend who had been counseling this woman after her divorce. He began to help her through, even helping take care of things the husband used to such as finances and other issues. As a result, he found himself developing significant affection for her. He called Lig in a panic saying, “What am I going to do? I’m falling in love with this woman, but I love my wife and family, too!” Duncan counseled him, saying, “First, stop counseling her. But if that’s not enough, make a list of what you will gain by having her and leaving your family, and what you will gain by having your family and leaving her.” By doing this and developing good accountability, he began to see that God’s way was the right way! P.G. Mathew puts it more starkly: “The solution is to think! If you are a Christian, God has changed you and your very imagination, and now you are able to think differently.”[2]

But figure in what Jesus says, “For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.” Yes, that’s right — if this begins to control you and takes over, you’re going to hell. You may say, “Bro. Matt, wait a minute! Don’t you believe in eternal security, once saved, always saved?” I do, with all my heart. Christ’s death on the cross was sufficient, and his resurrection sealed it. And as a result, my heart was changed toward him! But if I am constantly pursuing things he has explicitly forbidden and have no twinge of guilt or no desire of repentance, then what am I saying about the reality of the change wrought in me by him? Yes, this is a serious notion.

Fall. Remember James 4 from before, well let me finish that thought. James 4:7-8 says, “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” Even the passage in 2 Timothy 2:22, “So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.” I mentioned earlier that we were to flee from the adulteress and the object of our lust.

But what are we to run to? Christ! Run to his work! Run to his will! Run to his Word for strength. Fall before him in prayer. Dress in a way that will not cause others to stumble with lust and adultery of the heart. Find others to help you stay accountable.

One time, I read of a man who was a missionary who kept struggling with his thoughts concerning someone to whom he was ministering. Satan would continually tempt him with impure and unholy thoughts about her. What helped him maintain was to continue to pray for his and her holiness. As long as that stayed in the forefront, he found that a great cure for lust.

If you are struggling in this area, know there is forgiveness and restoration.

One day that a woman had just come from a friend’s house where one of the children, a little boy, had been cutting something with a knife, and it had slipped upward and put out his eye, and his mother was afraid of his losing the other. Of course, after that this woman was careful that our little boy, two years old, shouldn’t get the scissors, or anything by which he could harm himself. But prohibit a child from having any particular thing, and he’s sure to have it; so one day our little fellow got hold of the scissors. His sister seeing what he had, and knowing the law, tried to take the scissors from him, but the more she tried the more he clung to them. All at once she remembered that he liked oranges, and that there was one in the next room. Away she went and back she came: “Willie, would you like an orange?”

The scissors were dropped, and he clutched the orange. God sometimes takes away the scissors, but He gives us an orange. Get both your feet into the narrow way; it leads to life and joy; its ways are ways of pleasantness, and all its paths are peace. It is the way of victory, of peace; no gloom there; all light.

Look again at verses 27-28.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:27-28).

The imagination is powerful. Think of all the things we imagine: new jobs, more money, more influence, better friends, better weather. When we begin to imagine better relationships, especially when it deals with the areas of love and marriage, then our issues begin. You see, our minds are a theatre with the pictures fed by the eye. The sinful heart takes that picture and drives that sin in deep in the heart. And it sullies how we look at those made in God’s image. Prior to the Flood, Genesis 6:5 gives the indictment: “The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.”

Whereas last week we looked at the sixth commandment (“You shall not murder”) and saw how Jesus corrected the Pharisees’ interpretation, this week we look at how Jesus sheds light on God’s view of the seventh commandment (“You shall not commit adultery”). Psalm 119:96 says, “I have seen a limit to all perfection, but your commandment is exceedingly broad.” The Pharisees were caught interpreting the commandment too narrowly. In this case, they only looked at the particular act — and even then in some cases it was permitted (such as when you “lie with a slave or a Gentile”). Only lying with an Israelite’s wife was not permitted. They interpreted it far too narrowly.

Jesus here though shows how “exceedingly broad” the commandment is. “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). Whereas Jesus affirms that the particular act is sinful, so is what Ligon Duncan calls “eye adultery” — and he is merely quoting the Apostle Peter: 2 Peter 2:14: “They have eyes full of adultery, insatiable for sin. They entice unsteady souls. They have hearts trained in greed. Accursed children!”

Men and women need to recognize some things. From songs, to movies, to bookstores, to the Internet, sex has been reduced to something simply for fleshly gratification. Of late, I cannot listen to songs dealing with this area. Men singing songs that objectify women — they are called awful names, described in awful ways, and are simply seen as conquests.

But if you see the videos, you see that women dress in styles that invite this. And since that’s the style in Hollywood and coming out of Madison Avenue, young women (even teenagers) are highly susceptible to wearing clothing that is skin-tight, plunging necklies, exposed midrifts, low wastelines, and high hemlines. Teens are especially susceptible to this, given how their quest toward adulthood leaves them 15 wanting to dress like 25.

This is exactly why Paul tells young men to remain “self controlled” (Titus 2:6). This is exactly why Paul in 1 Tim. 2:9-10 Paul exhorts Timothy “that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.” This applies to both genders, but if we more time worrying about our fashions over our faith, it will show. We find ourselves not only taking umbrage with the seventh commandment, but we do so by violating the tenth commandment, “Do not covet.”

Why is this a gospel issue? Because if we believe in the sovereignty of God and believe that he has given to us what he has, then we find ourselves not coveting but being content.

(This sermon was preached on Sunday, June 22, 2008 at Boone’s Creek Baptist Church, Lexington, KY. You may listen to this sermon via mp3.)

I remember hearing and singing a short little chorus when I was little that was very simple:

O be careful, little eyes, what you see,
O be careful little eyes what you see,
For the Father up above is looking down in love,
O be careful little eyes what you see.

The song continued by going through other parts of the body to prove a point: we need to be careful what we are watching because God is watching. But does that make a difference with many. So many in our culture take little thought in what they put before their eyes, especially when it comes to the sexual realm. We see that the pornography business is a $10 billion per year business. We see that even in the magazine stands at the grocery that the women who don the front of the majority of the magazines are wearing skimpier and skimpier clothing.

The understanding in advertizing that “sex sells” has never been more apparent than in 2008. This is a growing problem, especially among Christians who grew up in churches that were afraid to even talk about it, much less teach how to navigate through the hormones that pop and crack during adolescence. Television shows and movies simply look at this like those in Roman times did — that this area is simply a bodily function like eating or drinking. And I’ll say this: our teens and young adults will learn this from somewhere.

On Sunday evenings, we are going through Jerry Bridges’ book Respectable Sins. This book addresses issues dealing with sins that Christians tolerate as part of our culture. More and more, I am seeing that this very issue Jesus addresses is tolerated — and it was tolerated even in his day with a “you-can-look-but-can’t-touch” type of attitude.. Look with me at Matthew 5:27-32

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ [28] But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. [29] If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. [30] And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.

[31] “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ [32] But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

There is a misunderstanding that this is not simply a biological function, but deals with the emotions and even the soul! According to Jesus, you cannot separate the act or the thought from the issues of the soul. They are all tied together.

This Sunday, I will address Matthew 5:27-30, then next Sunday I will speak on why does God care about marriage.

(Tomorrow: Part II: Sexual Immorality in Any Form is Deadly)

While waiting at the airport this past weekend, I ventured on a very insightful article (HT: Shane Anderson) dealing with how Google and the Internet is harming our brains and our thinking power. Here’s an excerpt:

Over the past few years I’ve had an uncomfortable sense that someone, or something, has been tinkering with my brain, remapping the neural circuitry, reprogramming the memory. My mind isn’t going—so far as I can tell—but it’s changing. I’m not thinking the way I used to think. I can feel it most strongly when I’m reading. Immersing myself in a book or a lengthy article used to be easy. My mind would get caught up in the narrative or the turns of the argument, and I’d spend hours strolling through long stretches of prose. That’s rarely the case anymore. Now my concentration often starts to drift after two or three pages. I get fidgety, lose the thread, begin looking for something else to do. I feel as if I’m always dragging my wayward brain back to the text. The deep reading that used to come naturally has become a struggle.

I think I know what’s going on. For more than a decade now, I’ve been spending a lot of time online, searching and surfing and sometimes adding to the great databases of the Internet. The Web has been a godsend to me as a writer. Research that once required days in the stacks or periodical rooms of libraries can now be done in minutes. A few Google searches, some quick clicks on hyperlinks, and I’ve got the telltale fact or pithy quote I was after. Even when I’m not working, I’m as likely as not to be foraging in the Web’s info-thickets—reading and writing e-mails, scanning headlines and blog posts, watching videos and listening to podcasts, or just tripping from link to link to link. (Unlike footnotes, to which they’re sometimes likened, hyperlinks don’t merely point to related works; they propel you toward them.)

For me, as for others, the Net is becoming a universal medium, the conduit for most of the information that flows through my eyes and ears and into my mind. The advantages of having immediate access to such an incredibly rich store of information are many, and they’ve been widely described and duly applauded. “The perfect recall of silicon memory,” Wired’s Clive Thompson has written, “can be an enormous boon to thinking.” But that boon comes at a price. As the media theorist Marshall McLuhan pointed out in the 1960s, media are not just passive channels of information. They supply the stuff of thought, but they also shape the process of thought. And what the Net seems to be doing is chipping away my capacity for concentration and contemplation. My mind now expects to take in information the way the Net distributes it: in a swiftly moving stream of particles. Once I was a scuba diver in the sea of words. Now I zip along the surface like a guy on a Jet Ski.

I completely sympathize with this article. I find my mind slipping into neutral when I’m surfing the ‘net, even under the banner of “doing research.” In fact, my computer is on the fritz and will be until Friday (I’m using another computer here at church). I have gotten more accomplished with my stack of books, my Bible, and my moleskine than I have in weeks! You think there’s a pattern here? Ugh! The time warp of the Internet will undo us all!

Speaking of Moleskine: I am hooked, and I have Joe Thorn to blame for it. I was a Mead Composition Notebook guy, but found that the paper, the wide ruled nature of the layout, and the ease with which it falls apart made me begin to look for other options. So, I tried a Moleskine, and now I love it and am hooked on journaling, especially when it comes to sermon preparation. I find that if I write out my research in this journal rather than type it out on a computer, I absorb the content a bit more and the sermon becomes more personal to me as well.

Also, others have written articles about how much easier organizing via paper as opposed to PDAs have made life easier. One way is by a gentleman named Mark Dwight, the founder of Rickshaw who has a nice video on his use of Moleskine journals.

Whatever you use, be sure and journal and never underestimate the power of pen and paper.

(This sermon, Could You Be Charged With First Degree Anger?, was preached at Boone’s Creek Baptist Church, Lexington, KY, on Sunday, June 8, 2008. To read through Part I, click here; Part 2 here. To listen to other audio sermons, click here.)

Jesus ties it all together in Matthew 5:25-26:

Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. Truly, I say to you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.

So what is Jesus saying? Jesus is saying, “Dear disciples and all who would hear, you have a window of opportunity.” One day, you will have to give an account of your life before the Great Judge of the Universe, Jesus Christ. When that happens, it will be too late, for the Scripture does say, “It is destined for man to die once, and after that to face judgment” (Hebrews 9:27).

But until then, God in his great patience and care gives us an opportunity to take care of those issues. So this would be a great time to put this all together and go step-by-step through this.

First, remember that you and all other human beings are made in the image of God (Genesis 1:26-27).

Secondly, admit that you do get angry at times—and don’t make excuses.

Thirdly, take steps to rectify the situation immediately. Even in times of worship, where one’s pride may take the fore because you are attending, now is the time to get up and go reconcile. Frederich Buechner once wrote, “Of the 7 deadly sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back–in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you.” So deal with it now!

Fourth, trust that God will administer justice, if need be. Romans 12:19-21 says:

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” [20] To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” [21] Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

If your trust truly is in Christ alone, then that Gospel trust must bleed over into every area of life — especially this one.

Lastly, ask God to change your heart. In Ezekiel 36:25-26, God says, “And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.” When God works this, we will become more sensitive to his working. True followers of Christ have this, but it takes a diligent pursuit. If you want a hardened heart, then do nothing — that heart will come and drag you right into hell. If you want to be right before him, ask him to change your heart.

Conclusion

Yesterday, I came across a documentary by NPR on the life of Gerry Mulligan. Mulligan was a premiere tenor sax player who was a very influential in the field of jazz in the 40s, 50s, and 60s, and was even working on a project when he died in 1996. Mulligan was an innovator, but he was also a bit headstrong. He knew what he wanted his arrangements and his band to sound like — even if it meant going against what others in the field felt was un-doable. While he made a number of friends and gained a ton of admirers, he also had some on the other side of that fence.

In 1995, Mulligan found out he and another one of his former band members, found out they had cancer. These men shared great admiration for one another, but also some serious artistic differences that would often strain the relationship. In light of the cancer, made this very wise comment, he said “When Gerry and I found out we had cancer, all those disagreements were just taken off the table and we focus on the issues we agreed on. None of those things we disagreed on in the grand scheme didn’t matter.”

This is something to ponder, isn’t it? While there are certain this we can never compromise on (Christ, the Bible, the resurrection, the Trinity, the local church, etc.), there are issues that will plant the seeds of anger and contempt in our hearts. What will it take for us to repent of those issues? Let me ask it another way: what will God have to do in your life to help you see that nothing is worth destroying your relationship with God or with your neighbor? Will it have to be cancer? A church split? A catastrophe of some sort? Or have Jesus’ words penetrated to such a degree that his word is sufficient?

(This sermon, Could You Be Charged With First Degree Anger?, was preached at Boone’s Creek Baptist Church, Lexington, KY, on Sunday, June 8, 2008.  To read through Part I, click here.  To listen to other audio sermons, click here.)

What would you do if I stood up here in front of you and gave you a guilt-free reason to miss church? It would serve as one reason to be absent that would excusable. Well, you don’t have to look to your pastor for a reason — look to Jesus. Matthew 5:23-24 says:

So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Jesus tells us that reconciling to your brother is more important than even the most important of religious duties. Someone may say, “Well, doesn’t this idea contradict what the writer in Hebrews says about “not forsaking the assembling of yourselves together” (Hebrews 10:25)? Doesn’t the Spirit say that if we are Christians that we must never miss church? Yes it does, but it also tells us in verses 23-24:

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works.

How can you stir up one another to love and good works if you realize that someone has something against you (or, even more obvious, you have something against someone else that is fracturing that relationship)? You may say, “They are acting that way for no reason.” Are you so sure about that? D.A Carson notes that if we continue to engage in personal or public worship having a fractured relationship and we are not willing to deal with it, worship “becomes a pretence and a sham if the worshiper has behaved so poorly that his brother has something against him.”

What’s the issue? If someone has something against us, we cannot simply shake that off by saying, “Oh, that’s their problem! If they want to fix it, they know where I am.” Yet, according to Jesus, this issue is so serious that there is no rationale for justifying this away and putting it on someone else. Your worship and fellowship with God is on the line. Psalm 66:18 says:

If I had cherished iniquity in my heart,
the Lord would not have listened.

1 Samuel 15:22 shows the prophet Samuel saying,

“Has the Lord as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices,
as in obeying the voice of the Lord?
Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice,
and to listen than the fat of rams.

Why? Because you have underestimated what God did in taking the first step in reconciling you to himself! Col. 2:13-15 says:

And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, [14] by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. [15] He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him.

Notice that God didn’t just wipe them away — those trespasses he set aside came at a high cost. He initiated the whole thing. And when we consider that God atoned for our sins by placing their horrific penalty on His own Son so we may have hope of life everlasting in Him, then we turn around and struggle with issues that are trivial.

If you find yourself using church or other religious issues to numb the Holy Spirit’s work in your heart, then you are only deceiving yourself.