Archive for the Marriage Category

Being a Titus 2 Woman (Introduction)

Posted in Church Life, Culture, Family, Marriage with tags , , , , on May 12, 2008 by Matthew R. Perry

(This sermon was preached on Mother’s Day, Sunday, May 11, 2008 at Boone’s Creek Baptist Church, Lexington, KY.  To listen to the entire sermon, click here.  To listen to other sermons, click on http://www.matt-perry.net/sermons.)

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled (Titus 2:3-5).

Those of you who are around me anytime at all realize my love for the country of Trinidad & Tobago. My heart aches especially for the pastors down there who have very little training on how to minister to their people and what training they do have comes from some very problematic sources.

What I noticed at the church at Mt. Beulah where we ministered previously was a row of elderly women who sat in very special seats up front. At first, I just thought it was how they were arranged, but then I noticed that for each of those women, Roddie Taylor addressed them as “Mother.” “Mother Jones, Mother Taylor, etc.” At the church in Siparia, these women sat in more prominent seats: right up next to the stairs. These women were the seasoned saints of the church who had poured their lives into that church for decades. They held a place of honor and influence for the things of God.

Although it’s been 18 months since I’ve been there, this fact ran across my mind given that Mother’s Day was approaching. I confess that I really debated on what to preach. While many may look on this day with much affection, for some this day is more difficult that one could realize for many different reasons.

I would like to use this day as an opportunity to address another difficulty that many churches deal with: what role do women play in the church? In a country where women have only been able to vote only since 1920, in a country where many TV shows from the 1950s and 1960s portrayed women as bubbleheaded ditzes, in a culture where the Women’s Liberation Movement of the 1970s moved the long-established cultural lines of role of men and women— the churches came along and reacted one of two ways. One way was to go along with the culture and move the lines of the role of genders where the culture did. Another way was to overreact and move the lines even further than what was before. As a result, whether the churches were liberal or fundamentalist, the lines were ones that suited them but weren’t necessarily what the Bible spoke on.

My desire is that every single woman in this church would be a Titus 2 Woman. A Titus 2 Woman embraces the role God has established that complements other areas of life and ministry in the church. Also, a Titus 2 Woman takes time to invest not just in its own generation but in the generations that have gone before as well as the ones coming up. A Titus 2 Woman is not ashamed of God nor His Word. So let’s see what God has in store for us this morning.

Five Myths of Divorce (Ken Sande)

Posted in Family, Marriage on January 30, 2008 by Matthew R. Perry

Ken Sande, President of Peacemaker Ministries, has written an excellent article on the “Five Myths of Divorce.” You need to check this out! Please!

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If You Are Married, Go to a Marriage Conference — If You Are a Pastor, Offer One At Your Church

Posted in Family, Marriage on August 18, 2007 by Matthew R. Perry

This past week, I have been on vacation. While the majority of the vacation consisted of working on our new home (no small task, no matter how well the condition), the end portion of our vacation was helpful and much needed. Cindy and I right now are in Cincinnati at a hotel enjoying getting reacquainted — not easy with me being the pastor of a church and us being the parents of four small children.

The time in Cincinnati was centered around a marriage conference held at the Mt. Carmel Baptist Church entitled Toward a Growing Marriage. This conference was led by Gary Smalley of the Five Love Languages fame. I must say this to all of you who may come across this page:

If you are married, go to a marriage conference at least once per year. Every marriage could use a tune-up, and many marriages could use resuscitation. Gary Smalley helped us on some biblical and practical levels about communication, conflict, sex, and a myriad of other issues. What helped us as well was the fact that two other couples came from our church and we had a wonderful time of fellowship and discussion about the conference.

If you are a pastor, offer a marriage seminar, retreat, or discipleship small group at your church soon. We as pastors tend to simply look at the sparkly-clean folks who come into our church and truly believe that all is well with them. But when a rash of people begin to ask you questions about their marriage or, even worse, say, “My spouse has asked me for a divorce,” that’s when you realize you have to be reactive and address the issue immediately, and proactive and deal with possible issues which tend to come up in every marriage.

So let me ask you, what kind of marriage conferences or resources have helped you in the past that you could recommend to the rest of us? Leave your comments in the comments section of this blog entry.

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